My arms don't ache...

My arms don't ache when I have my babies in them. Please Lord, let this be reality soon...let them come home. Amen.
God is love,
Megan

4 weeks ago tonight

It's incredibly hard to believe that 4 weeks ago tonight, almost to the minute, I went into labor. I'm sitting where I was when my water broke. It's hard to believe our babies are one month old already. It's flown by!!! And yet it seems like yesterday that I had them. When I think about how it's been a month and we have not been able to bring them home and be a family, I get sad. But the NICU is where they need to be and they are being well taken care of. I miss them terribly, sometimes so much that I cry. But God's timing is beautifully perfect and I'm not going to stop trusting in him now.
I know He gave me this month to recover my from my 2 month hospital stay and from the c-section and I am grateful for that. The babies will be home in no time. It will be sleepless nights, spit up and dirty diapers...and I can't wait.
GOD IS LOVE,
Megan

P.S Today I go to breastfeed Kaden and it was awesome! Just one step closer to my goal.

Update on babies 10/27

As of last night the update on Kaden was the he is eating 6 of his 8 feeds from the bottle! This is amazing news and it won't be much longer before he is ready to come home! Tomorrow morning he is getting circumcised. He weighs 5lb 90z! He is my amazing little man and I am so proud of him.
Kaleiah is still eating 3 bottles a day but I know she will catch up to her brother in no time! Please pray that she does. She is amazing and strong and still doing great.
It will absolutely BREAK my heart to leave one of them behind in the NICU. Randy and I are prepared for that though, all babies are different and learn and grow at their own pace but it's going to be so hard :(
Kaleiah weighs 5.9 as well, they gained 2 oz in one night! They are almost 1lb bigger than they were when they were born. I am so happy that they are rapidly gaining weight!
We trust that they will be home soon and more than that we trust in God's timing. As he has shown throughout all of this, His timing is perfect.

Kaden and Kaleiah update

They both weigh a little over 5 pounds now! Kaleiah is up to 3 bottles feeds a day! Kaden is still at 2. They are getting the hang of it! I can't wait until they can eat 8 bottles a day because that means they can come home!
Fortunately, that's about the only update! All is going well, both are happy and healthy. Just need to keep doing what they are doing and keep eating from the bottle! Mommy and Daddy are doing well, too. I am still pumping like crazy but my body is getting a little more used to it as they days go by. Still feeling the affects of 60 days on bed rest but my body is recovering. As far as recovering from from the c-section, I feel fine. Randy is amazing, he works all day then comes home, picks me up and we go to straight to the hospital for a few hours. We both know down the road we'll get to sleep again but right now we need to do what we need to do. Which is work, pump and see our babies!
Enjoy some recent pics:
GOD IS LOVE,
Megan

YAY!!!

Today the babies are 19 days old! Today I did skin to skin with both of them, it's such an amazing time to bond. They know they are against mommy's skin and they just relax and usually fall fast asleep. They recognize my scent and heartbeat. Not only is it incredibly important and good for their health but it's also extremely good for my milk supply. A few days ago I attempted to breast feed Kaden while doing skin to skin and he didn't do much, which is totally normal. It's more to just get them used to it, every exposure helps.
My mom was there to help me today...she is a breast feeding PRO who without her I don't know if I could be so diligent with the pumping. She has instilled in me the value and importance of breastfeeding and for me...there is no other option. It's absolutely the most NATURAL and beneficial thing you can do (in my opinion). I know for a fact that it is due to my breast milk that the babies are doing so well. They have grown leaps and bounds since being able to be fed it. My mom breastfed 6 children including TWINS and so I know I can do it. It's extremely hard pumping every 2-3 hours 24/7 and sometimes I get discouraged but I know it's what I have to do and I actually take GREAT PRIDE in being able to do this for my babies. It's one of the only things I can do for them right now and it will be the only thing that only I alone can do for them.
Well today was my first try with Kaleiah (and my 2nd try at it EVER) and she actually latched right on and ate a little! It was a beautiful thing. I wasn't sure if I was doing it right or if she was either, if she was getting anything...although it seemed like it. But just being able to have that special time with her and for both of us to get in some practice was a blessing.
The neat thing about them having a tube for feeding is they can stick a syringe on to it and pull out what is in their belly. So the nurse needed to check if Kaleiah had in fact eaten anything and I was able to see that she did!!! It feels great knowing I successfully breastfed! I know it won't always be that easy but I was blessed today. I won't be able to breastfeed exclusively til they are home though because they have to be bottle fed first in the NICU before they can come home. But hopefully I will get to do one feeding a day with them.
Here are some pics, one of my little girl so content from skin to skin time and one showing what she ate :)

17 days old

The babies are doing great! Went from one bottle feed a day, to two (all others still through feeding tube). They need to be able to eat all feeds (8?) a day from the bottle before they can come home. Again, they are just learning the suck, swallow, breath thing. Kaleiah is about 4 lb 14 ounces and Kaden is about 4 lb 13 ounces. Almost 5 pounds each, woo hoo!! I love them sooooooooooooooo much!

Getting closer...

Both babies are being bottle fed once a day. They are just learning the suck, swallow, breath thing so sometimes they don't take much from the bottle. It's a big work out for their tiny little mouths and so far it's the most work they have ever had to do! One day Kaden took 2 cc's and then next day he took 35! Yesterday they both took 14. Practice makes perfect. I believe they need to eat all their meals via the bottle before they can come home and like I said, right now the nurses are trying once a day. I got to feed Kaleiah for the first time the other day and it was difficult, intimidating and amazing all at once. I haven't fed Kaden yet but I'm sure I will. Other than that they are just hangin in there and trying to gain weight!

Quick update

Just a quick blog to let everyone know the babies are doing so well and for that we praise God. I will briefly update you on their progress:
Both are in what they call an open crib which is a very good step. And they are right by each other for the first time since they were born (they had been across the room from each other). Being in an open crib means they can regulate their own temperature! It's also great because it means when Randy and I go see them we can change their diapers and go right ahead and just pick them up and hold them. Anyone who has seen my myspace knows that we finally got to hold Kaleiah for the first time on October 9th (9 days old). The only tubes either of them have is the feeding one! And they eat only breast milk :) I truly believe it is the reason they are doing so well. Kaleiah was not doing as well as Kaden and then she started to be given breast milk and every single day we came in, she had improved to the next step. The only difference between them right now is that he eat 2 cc's more than her per feeding. She has caught up so fast! It's amazing how much healthier she looks from a week ago. I do "skin to skin" with them almost every time and I LOOOVE it. They are now what they nurses call "calm growers" meaning now they are just needing to put on weight and be able to take a bottle, a certain amount and a certain number of times a day. They have tried twice with Kaden and once with Kaleiah (they try at 34 weeks and the babies turned 34 yesterday). I have a feeling the babies will be home in maybe 2 weeks! So yeah, they are doing great!! I just want them home with us!
As for me, I am EXHAUSTED. I am recovering from 2 months of hospitalized bed rest so my muscles are so weak and tired from not being used for so long. Also recovering from a major surgery I am sore and have to take it slow. And I started pumping the day after they were born, every 3 hours around the clock. So I get 2 to 2.5 hours of sleep at a time. The energy it takes my body to make milk, on top of the recovery is absolutely draining. My only daily activity is going to see the babies and it takes ALL the energy I have. But everything I have been through and have to do now is so worth it. It's only been 11 days, I know it will get easier. I couldn't do it without my husband or our families (especially you mom!) that's for sure. We have amazing families. Speaking of me being drained and exhausted (emotionally and physically) please know that to all of you who email, text, myspace etc that I thank you for thinking of me and checking in but I honestly have no extra energy and so sometimes it's impossible to follow up with everyone. But I do appreciate it and apologize if if I am unable to respond.
Here are some pics of our amazing, beautiful babies...

They are here!!!!!!!!!!!!

They are both doing very well. Kaden has been breathing room air almost the whole time, he does have an IV and a feeding tube. I'm pumping to bring him whatever I can! Kaden is even doing well enough for Randy or myself to hold him and today was the first time I did and it was amazing. I held him "skin to skin" which is soooo important for babies. He knew it was me and you could tell how much he loved it. It was hard to put him back. He even opened his eyes for us and was looking at us while Randy held him. They also moved him into an isolete instead of the lil bed under the heat lamp like his sister, since he is doing so well.

Hopefully Kaleiah will do well enough in the next few days for us to hold her too! She is now breathing room air too! She is a fighter, she is doing so great. It's so hard to see her with so many wires and tubes, I can't even see or talk to her without crying. She is so precious and I can't wait to hold her.

I can't believe they are finally here. After all we went through. So worth it. I love them sooooooooo much.

Please, please keep praying for healthy babies and they recover soon. But for being so early, they really are doing so great. Praise God.


I'm doing pretty well, C sections are not fun. I get the staples out of my incision tomorrow. Soooo sore. I was pretty out of it yesterday bc of the medicines but I'm doing much better today.

I can't believe they were just inside of me 2 days ago. The night they were born was SURREAL. It's still like a dream.
Kaden William born at 10:23pm September 30th 4lbs 10oz 16 in 3 1/4 cm
Kaleiah Hope born at 10:24pm September 30th 4lbs 11oz 16 in 3/4 cm




Well, enjoy the pics, we hope to update the regularly.

Love, Megan