Our Double Blessings plus one more!: March 2012

Friday was one exhausting, long day that ended an exhausting, long week. After 5 days (Sunday to Friday) of Kaleiah being sick, throwing up off and on for those 5 days, being very lethargic (did not get off the couch our out of my arms for 5 days. Did not play at all for 5 days, barely talked or ate). The first 2 days she was sick, she slept off an on for the entire day and was running a fever both days and vomiting. The first night she got sick, she threw up every 20-30 min from 8pm to 12pm the next day. We go no sleep and neither did she. My heart broke for her. It was extremely worrisome for me to see her so pitiful, sleepy and lethargic every day, 24/7. This is my spunky child who is very energetic, playful, active and extremely talkative. And is a bottomless pit who thoroughly enjoys food. It was heart breaking to see her lay still, talk maybe once a day and not eat. It was hit or miss as far as keeping food down but also, when you have a stomach bug, you have zero apatite. She instantly began loosing weight, that always happens when she gets sick. She's already a string bean and very lean so it's hard for me to see her get to thin :( She lost a pound and a half in 4 days. I wasn't as worried about her not eating as I was about her drinking. Staying hydrated while sick is crucial. This is not the first experience with the flu so I definitely know how to deal with it and I tried everything to get her to drink. She just wouldn't. She had her days where she would drink a lot more than other days but even then, it wasn't enough. My kids love their sippy cups and drink about 6 full cups a day. It wasn't good that she was only drinking 6 SIPS of something a day. After day 3 we started talking to the phone nurse regularly. We followed her instructions and just kept trying to keep her hydrated. by day 3, she was still super lethargic. Same day 4. In my gut (which all mothers know to trust), I knew she would probably need to go to the ER. It was extremely worrisome for me that she wasn't bouncing back because in our past flu experiences, after day 3 or 4 she perks up. In my gut I knew she was too dehydrated and that was keeping her sick. We finally took her to the pediatrician on day 5 after the instructions from the phone nurse weren't bringing any results. She got poked and prodded and looked over from head to toe and even had to get her finger pricked for a blood test. We were there for an hour and 15 min, she was exhausted and crying the whole time. The Dr. (who was not their regular ped.) was worried and said if it were his child he would take her for a IV right away. He called the hospital and told them he was sending us, he warned us they may try to skirt around giving her one, but to insist. Since I had already been thinking for a day that she probably need one and he confirmed it, I wasn't leaving without one.

We got to the ER at 6pm and it was packed. My poor girl had only got in a 40 minute nap and was absolutely melting down and continued to do so the the rest of the time. What I hate about the ER is that it takes forever (I broke my arm when I was 10 and waited in excruciating pain for 4 hours before I was seen). It infuriates me that a baby or small child is not seen right away. I understand they see people in the order they come in but unless people with life threatening situations need to be see, a child should be first. So here we are with a sick, dehydrated, in pain, exhausted 3 year old and we have to wait for 2 hours before we even get seen. All I could do was hold and rock her and try not to cry myself. It was 7pm and we realized non of us had eaten, most importantly Kaden, so Randy took him to go get food. He was gone for an hour and stood in the hallway of the ER swaying back and forth trying to get Kaleiah to nap in my arms but that was a joke. It was bright, super loud and there was no where quiet to go, at all. WHY does a hospital not have a "quiet room" where an exhausted, emotionally drained, scared mother can take her exhausted sick, in pain baby to rest!??!?!?!??????? My options were the loud hallways with dr.'s, nurses, people going by, doors slamming, machines beeping and bright lights OR the pediatric waiting room filled with other sick (some crying) kids, loud toys, bright lights and a loud movie playing. Absolutely infuriates me. Create a place where children and parents can wait that is quiet where the baby can rest.

Randy finally got back and I made him to see when we would be seen. There was a 10 hour wait. Are you kidding me??? He was gone for about 5-6 minutes and in that time, Kaleiah had absolutely melted down, was screaming and crying a writhing in pain. It took EVERYTHING in my not to break down. I was BEYOND exhausted from a week of worry and everything that goes along with taking care of a sick child (as well as having another child to take care of), I had been spread so thin all week, barely ate or slept and I was at my breaking point. Seeing her so upset was like daggers in my heart. I wanted her better....NOW!!!!!!! My poor child, I had never seen her that upset my her life.
He found a male nurse and explained out situation and that in fact, dehydration is life threatening especially in a small child. We were taken to a room in ten minutes. A Dr. and nurse came in and had to check her which was almost impossible with her screaming and flailing and he and the nurse were a little rude. They seemed annoyed that we were insisting and IV, they had the nerve to say "Let's just try to give her some apple juice." I said I did not just wait two hours in the ER to giv her apple juice. OBVIOUSLY we've been trying to get her to drink all week and she's not drinking enough to be hydrated!!!!! They exhaled annoyed and said they would get an IV going after some tests. Really?! This is how you treat a family with a sick little 3 year old, with no empathy or respect to how exhausted and worried we are?!!?!? The last thing we need is to be patronized. They said they'd need a urine sample and I said in the state she is in she is not going ot be able to pee in a cup. First of all, if she is not hydrated she has no pee to pee. Second of all, she is absolutely hysterical and just wants to go to sleep. I can't rationalize with a melting down 3 year old, poor thing. Rudely, the nurse said "then we'll have to do a catheter." The way they talked to us lacked ANY kind of compassion. I told Randy she is absolutely NOT having something stuck up her vaginal area, I will not allow it. She doesn't need to go through that right now. I took her to the rest room and tried my hardest to explain she needed to pee in the cup and why. She couldn't understand, she was scared out of her mind, feeling sick and exhausted. I don't know if it was because she was so scared or if it was a result of dehydrating but she had the worst diarrhea of her whole life. Everything was just so crazy and sad, I hated the WHOLE situation. She was still crying, her voice was getting hoarse. She was screaming "I want to go home!!!!!!" My heart was breaking. I wanted to take her and run home and not have her go though anything else. I knew there was pain and more fear ahead for her and I wanted to protect her!!! But I knew this was best for her, that she needed the help even though she was going to be sad and scared. I had to step up big time and stuff all my emotions down, hold back my tears, MY fear, and be strong and brave for her. I needed to be the rock she could lean on and let her know by my words, actions and expressions that she was going to be ok.

It was time for the IV and Randy took Kaden out of the room. I layed her on the bed and had to hold her down. I was dying inside. I was supposed to protect her, did she think I was letting them hurt here!?!??! I still cry thinking about what she must have been thinking. She gave in and stopped resisting and I just bent over and put my face to her face and whispered in her ear the entire time and stroked her little head. I told her everything was going to be ok, that everything all of them were doing was to help her, that after this was all done she would finally feel better. I told her Mommy was RIGHT THERE and I would stay with her and that Jesus and I were protecting her and keeping her safe. I just kept whispering "Jesus and Mommy will keep you safe. Jesus is in your heart and mommy is RIGHT HERE." She screamed when the IV went in but after it was in and she was cleaned up and they let her go, she started to calm down. She had NO MORE fight in her, she was so exhausted, she couldn't even move anymore. As the nurses left, Randy peeked in and said bye, he had to take Kaden home and get him in bed, it was 9:00pm already. My parents drove up, mom stayed with us and dad took Randy and Kaden home. I turned off the lights and layed next to her in bed and like a flood gate opening, my tears came. Hot tears streaming down my face. I had held back ALL day, all week, and I just broke down. I had no more fight in me now. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. She finally fell asleep and that is what she so desperately needed. Obviously because I lived in a hospital for 2 months and visited them for 1 month following that, I am NOT a fan of hospitals. Seeing her helpless on that bed with the tubes coming out of her arm sent me right back to all of the emotions I felt when she was a tiny, sick, premature baby in the NICU. It also reminded me of her surgery at just 25 months and I though to myself this poor child has been through so much in her little life. But I also thanked God that she was ok and was going to be ok, I know things could be much worse. I just kept thinking of our friend and fellow Pastor who just lost is 12 year old to brain cancer. I couldn't imagine what he felt when he told her it would be ok, when he held her hand while she was in the hospital, when he knew it wouldn't be ok. Broke my heart in a different way.

My mom sat on one side and I on the other. I told her all night long how incredibly proud I was of her, how brave she was and that she was my hero. We thought, ok, she can sleep for an hour while the IV drips. Oh, wouldn't you know that the first blood draw before the IV was bad so they had to draw again!?!?!? YEAH. A nurse came in and said I"m sorry but you're going to have to wake her up." "WHY?" "We need to draw her blood again." "Why do I need to wake her up?! PEOPLE! She just fell asleep!!! It's 10:00 at night, we've been here for 4 hours and she JUST fell asleep!" I was seriously pissed. I've talked to multiple nurses who said they should NOT have had to draw it again, they should have had the BEST person do it first and get it right. Makes me so angry. I understand mistakes happen but you picked the wrong patient. Get your act together! My mom was pissed to and I could tell she was holding back saying something. So, I quietly woke my sleeping angel who was so tired that she just layed there while they stuck another needle in her and drew blood. Like I said, she had NO more fight in her. She was never able to fall back asleep. Her IV bag finished about 20 minutes after that and I remembered we didn;t give a urine sample yet. I went out to ask if they still needed one and the first nurse who checked us in with the first Dr. said "we're going to have her do a catheter." I said, No, can we try a cup again?" She paused, rolled her eyes and sighed with annoyance. She looked at me and said condescendingly, "we'll let you try in a cup again." I was furious that I was being treated this way....you're being snotty because why?!?!?!?!? I have a sick baby in the ER, it's almost 10:30pm and you have no idea what our week has been like. Have a little empathy. Be more professional. Why exactly did these people go in to a field for HELPING people when this is how they treat them? I wish I got names so I could write a letter of complaint. I went back in the room an told my mom what happened and she was so mad. I told her I was refusing a urine test for KH and she said good. I said you know what? She's not getting a catheter and she's not going pee in a stupid cup. She;s been though enough. She got what we came for so we're going home. We had to go ask twice for them to come take the needle out bc her IV had been done for 20 minutes and I needed to get my poor child in bed. We were finally discharged and in the car by 11:30pm. I hadn't even eaten dinner. She was asleep before I drove off. Was thankful my mom could stay with us. Was so thankful it was over. She honestly looked better. She slept pretty well and the next day she the most herself she had been in 6 days!!!!!! She actually had energy, she actually got up and walked around and played!! She actually talked again and smiled and laughed!!! All little everyday things that we al take for granted when our children are healthy!!! Don't take a single smile from your little one for granted because when they don't smile for a week, it will hurt your heart like crazy. Her appetite started to come back and she was requesting her usual favorites for breakfast, she had her first milk in a week and kept it down. We went to the park while there was a break in the rain and then we went to Target. It was the most normal day in a week. As soon as I saw her in the morning and hugged her to tight and told her how proud I was of her the night before. I got all the sticky stuff off from where her IV as taped on. She started talking all about the nights events and I would just tell her it was all to help her. That the "magic water" as I called it, made her yucky tummy go away. She was happy.

Today, one week to the day she first got sick and 36 hours after she got her IV, Kaden is throwing up. He has a fever just like she did. I am praying with what strength I have left that he os not go down the road she did. If you are reading this, will you please pray too? Randy and I are exhausted and if you have ever had a sick child you can relate. If you have multiples, you can relate. This always happens, if one is sick the other usually gets sick. We got Kaleiah's zofran perscriton filled which helps take aay the nausea and so far it seems to be working for my little guy. I just don't know if I can do another week (making 2 straight) of a sick child. Being confined to the house, specifically a rocking chair, is not fun. The house is a disaster because cleaning is the last thing we have time for. And to top it off, we move in 2 weeks. We have to pack the entire house and paint and get moved. Awesome. Lord, I'm relying on you to get us through. I know you will. Thank you for being our rock!

My sweet pea has ben sick for 5 days, throwing up off and on, running a fever the first 2 days, been sleeping a lot, needs me to constantly hold and rock her or else she's miserable. I love that I'm the one she finds comfort in. The past 4 1/2 days have been long, tiring, not being able to do anything around the house, only getting to eat once a day most days and not being able to play with Kaden bc she needs me so much, it's been tough. I finally get some relief when hubby gets home but it's still rough bc she's so sick. We've been in touch with the phone nurse but we're finally taking her in today bc I need answers on why she's not getting better and my fear is that she's dehydrated and will need an IV. It's been nothing short of heart breaking to see her so sad, sick and lethargic. She is usually full of life, talks and plays non stop and is always eating. She's only smiles 3 times in 5 days, hasn't played or anything and hasn't been talking but 1-2 sentences a day. She's just so weak and run down. She (like most people) doesn't have much appetite bc of her upset tummy and is a little afraid to eat bc it's hit and miss what she can keep down.
I hate it :( I am anxious to see what the dr says...

Daddy brought both os us flowers one day when he got home :)

Because I have not been able to play and interact with Kaden as much, I have felt so bad. I told Randy that I needed to take him out for some one on one time (not to mention I needed to get dressed and LEAVE the house before I went crazy). We had a date on Wed night and it was so fun. We went to the toy store where he picked a toy then we went to dinner where we shared a shake, talke d and played. It was so special. I can't wait to do it again and also with Kaleiah.