Baby # 3!

So a little back story on this new addition...
If you me then you know the story of my last pregnancy, the complications, pre term labor, pre term birth and the nicu stay of our amazing miracles. If we are close, than you knew all my fears regarding ever trying for another baby. Scared doesn't cover it. Afraid of going through what I went through last time, doesn't cover it.
After we had our twins, we knew we wanted to wait at least 3-4 years before even thinking about more. And the first few years were so extremely busy, exhausting, and chaotic that we would have been nuts to think we had the energy, time or budget for more. Especially knowing that twins again was always possible. For 3 1/2 years, we were content with our sweet family of 4, never got a second of baby fever or even wanted to think about another. I just wasn't ready or desiring one. When the twins were about 3 years 8 months, the thought slowly started creeping in my mind. So this was 16 months ago. I told Randy and we would talk about it casually.
In May of 2012 I was sure I was feeling ready. We decided to wait until August of 2012 and reassess our feelings about it, if we could make it work, etc. Well, we decided it wasn't the right time (the desire wasn't 100%) and that we would again reassess and see where we were the next Spring.

We had been praying about it throughout those 8 months and talked about it all the time, checking in to see where both of us were as far as moving forward. Spring came around and I felt like we needed a little more time to pray about it. For the last few months before we conceived we prayed, hard. God above anyone else knew my deepest fears about the whole thing. He is my maker and knows every thought in my head. I didn't even have to explain to Him what I was afraid of, He knew. But I would BEG God to just give us one baby. I mean I begged and pleaded and prayed soooo hard. Every day for months.
Randy and I would spend many nights talking at length about our biggest fears, about "what if's", about our ultimate goal (healthy and full term pregnancy and baby/babies) and we ultimately decided that we could plan and prepare all we wanted but in the end God was in control. He knew what we desired but if He wanted to give us twins again then that was clearly His plan and we would be ok with that.
It is so awesome not being in control and HAVING to be, to give it up to the Lord who loves us more than anything. His plans are way better than ours and He will provide.
So knowing we could not control how many babies we would have, we did decide it was now or never. We always wanted the twins to be between 5 and 6 when we had another and so waiting any longer really wasn't an option. Plus after talking about it until we were blue in the face, off an on for a year, we were ready to either commit and trust and go for it or decide we were done. I've always known I wanted "just one more." It was scary to take the leap of faith but it's also a great feeling to tell God, we surrender and we trust you, and we want you in control of our lives!

We even went as far as setting up a consultation with a perinatologist at our hospital (specializes in high risk) who had checked on me off and on throughout my 2 months there on bed rest. This was back in April. I decided to look him up and email him one day. He completely remembered us and our story and wanted us to come in. I brought my laundry list of questions and concerns and he answered everyone. We talked about my last situation, going into labor at just 23 weeks, my c-section, my hemorrhaging afterwards, all my risks from my previous pregnancy, my chances of twins again. We talked about what would happen if it was twins again, would I have to go on bed rest again, would my cervix give out again, all of those concerns. See that's the thing, we had way more to consider when thinking about trying again than the average woman/family. Due to all my prior risks, it would have been horrible to have to go through any of that with two kids at home as well. So we were trying to be very proactive and plan/prepare as much as we could beforehand. The Dr. actually told us my chances of twins again fell at just 1%. Yes, 1%. I was blown away and honestly a little disbelieving of that because of everything I had heard and read over the years. But overall, he had very encouraging things to say, we addressed all my concerns we came up with a game plan for the future pregnancy. We decided I would begin weekly progesterone shots from 16 weeks on, to keep my cervix strong. So those are coming up!

Only a couple of my close friends knew we were thinking about trying, I didn't tell any of my family for a few reasons (I wanted it to be the biggest surprise ever when we told them and also my twin sister's wedding was in August and I didn't want to detract from her time. A couple of my friends knew that whole year that we were thinking and praying about it. It was definitely nice to have someone to confide in and have pray for me that whole time.
So we decided in March that we would go for June. Turns out I was going to be out of town when I would be ovulating so we simply decided well, obviously that month was not God's timing for us. Well God is good and showed us our desire did align with His will because I ovulated the day after I got back. And sure enough, three weeks later I found out He blessed us. We were thrilled but in shock. I hadn't been pregnant in almost exactly 5 years. It was unreal. Even though it was planned and expected, it was still shocking. I guess because it happened right away. Well the next few weeks were weird, surreal and really hard to not tell anyone.
It was also agonizing to wait to find out if it was twins again or not. That part was killing me. I got scared when I tested found out a whole week before I was late, on a regular (not early response) test...I was afraid I had massive HGC levels which I was afraid meant twins! But I had faith that God would answer my prayer of just one.
Within the first week of knowing, I had a gut feeling it was just one. This was reassuring to Randy and I because within my first week of pregnancy with the twins, I knew it was twins. Funny how a woman's intuition is usually right on.
I had an ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks and that morning was a nail biter!!!! I was sooooo anxious and had knots in my stomach. We prayed that morning and I listed to worship songs the whole way there which gave me a lot of peace. The time came and there was just ONE BABY. We were relieved, happy, excited, and thanking God!

I am super excited so document this journey as I did with the peas. I love having this blog as my journal. I hope to be able to post regularly, I haven't done so very much lately.

We would covet your prayers for a healthy, full term baby and a complication free, full term pregnancy! Thank you!!
Love, The Crafts