15 weeks

Morning sickness-none

Food aversions-any and all veggies for 3 solid months (couldn't even look at them)!

Sleep-still sleeping great and am able to still sleep comfortably on my tummy (yay)!

Maternity clothes-One pair of jeans, just to have the option to be super comfortable. Still able to button my regular ones. Still wearing regular tops.

Cravings-It changes by the day. One day it's crab legs, the next it's candy, bean burgers (a childhood staple growing up), but nothing too crazy or often. When something sounds good I tend to fixate on it until I get it though!

Weight gain-1 pound so far

This pregnancy has been easy so far. Like with the twins, I was blessed to not experience any morning sickness. I had my fair share of days where I just felt totally "blah" in the first trimester but really nothing to complain about. It's already much different just carrying one. I was absolutely and utterly exhausted the entire first trimester with the twins, I would fall asleep at my desk at work and sleep in my car on my break. I felt like I had been hit by a truck and every fiber in my body was exhausted. I expected that and waited and waited for that to hit this time and it never did. I was never exhausted or super tired, I just didn't have my usual energy. It's been such a blessing to be able to still feel so good because the twins still require so much work, I can't imagine how hard it would be if I was sick or tired as a dog. I am thankful.

I am also a lot smaller and finally just started "showing" even though I haven't truly "popped" yet. This last week, 14 to 15 weeks, I've definitely seen a change in my belly. With the twins, I was much bigger by now and in maternity pants by 12 weeks. 

One thing that's been hard for me in comparison is the lack of check up and mostly ultrasounds. With the twins, since I was high risk, I saw them every 2 weeks. I bonded right away and it felt real from the beginning (although the fact that I was having twins was always surreal). This time I am not considered high risk (thank the Lord), although they will be watching my cervix like a hawk, so I do not need ultrasounds as much as I did with the twins. 

The first ultrasound you get at my hospital is the 20 week, in depth one. You may get an initial one but usually not if you are a normal, non high risk pregnancy.

I had two early ultrasounds, due to my prior history, basically we wanted to rule out twins! So I have not seen the baby since I was 7 1/2 weeks, it looked like a gummy bear. I have been dying to see him or her, see what a real baby it looks like, see it move around. Since it's been over two months since I saw it as a gummy bear, I find myself worrying...if everything is ok. I have felt the little fluttering and movements for about 5 weeks now but it's not regular and obviously not super strong yet so it's just hard to really believe I am pregnant! I just want to SEE him/her. I know some of you mamma's can relate to how I am feeling. I know in my heart the baby is ok and developing, that God is good and everything is ok. I just wish I could see it and feel more bonded and have the whole thing feel more real :)

Speaking of the 20 week ultrasound, I have less than a month until I get it! That will also be the week we do our gender reveal. We can't wait to find out!!! The awesome thing is, we have one of each so we will be completely happy with whatever we get! I love that! We are going to find out in a fun way with our families there :) 

Tuesday I have my first cervix ultrasound, I will have one every two weeks for the remainder of my pregnancy. They will be monitoring my cervix highly due to my previous situation. I had these ultrasounds with the twins as well because I was high risk. And thank the Lord for that because that is how we found out that I was in pre term labor at 23 weeks. I went in for my routine cervix ultrasound and my cervix had shortened to a 0.75 (normal length is 3 or above) with regular contractions happening and that's when our entire world was turned upside down. God's Devine intervention was obvious, had I not had that appointment that day there is no doubt the twins would not be here today. 

I am a little nervous for the appointment just because it will bring back all those memories and emotions from that day. And of course I am terrified of receiving bad news. I am scared that my cervix may fail me again. But we have trusted God thus far and will continue to. We have faith He will answer all our prayers this pregnancy and the main one, besides praying for just one, is to go full term with no complications. 

Also starting on Tuesday I will begin my weekly progesterone shots which I'm not super nervous about. I have a high pain tolerance and also had a million shots and needles in me in the two months in the hospital that they really don't phase me anymore. I am a little nervous about the size of the needle though but I am just not going to look (Randy will be giving me the shots). I am so thankful for modern medicine. I did my own research back in Feb/March and came across this information about the hormone progesterone. And that is when I decided to contact the perinatologist that had checked on me often in the hospital. When we met with him back in April, he said I was a perfect candidate for the shots. 

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/progesterone-treatment-to-prevent-preterm-birth.aspx

And Randy? No surprise he has been utterly amazing. He was so understanding of my food aversions and picky-ness with meals the first trimester, he gives me back and leg rubs on the regular, he gets me (or MAKES ME...hello crab legs) whatever it is that I might be craving and is over all so understanding of my lack of energy and therefor the lack of a clean house at times, my moodiness from hormones, etc. He is just the best. The best kind of partner to be pregnant with. Love that man.

Overall I am feeling so blessed to pregnant again, to get a chance to do this again and to hopefully experience it the way I can only dream about which is going full term, having a normal and healthy pregnancy without any complications. I am still in awe of God answering our prayer of a year (even though it was the prayer of our hearts for many years) of having just ONE baby. 

And just to clarify, the reason just having ONE was our biggest desire is not because we don't love having twins, it's because it gives us hope that I will be able to carry to full term and have a complication free pregnancy. With twins, I would be high risk again. I would probably be on bed rest no matter what at some point. I would have a pregnancy riddled with fear the entire time because I would just be waiting for things to go wrong again. With one, my Dr.'s say, there should be no reason I shouldn't have a healthy full term pregnancy and baby. 

I am also so excited to experience what it is like to take of of just one newborn! This pregnancy has been so much easier compared to the twins and I have a feeling it will be the same when the baby is born. If I survived newborn twins, nursing twins for 14 months exclusively, dealing with two babies teething, two babies sick, two babies up all night, you name it...I think one (FOR ME) will be a walk in the park. And I am SO excited to experience that. Excited for little things like just wearing one in a wrap as I clean or run errands. I always had two to worry about so I never really got much use of of baby wraps or carriers. I am excited to just nurse one. That is a huge one for me. If you know me personally and knew me back in my nursing days, you knew what a rough start the babies and I had with that and just the amount of work it took to nurse two babies for over a year. I barely slept. For a year. This time around I will probably just do it all in my sleep! And to be able to do it without the other hungry baby screaming for it's turn (the amount of stress that caused me was unbearable at times), I'm sure it will be pure bliss. SO many little things I am looking forward to with this new experience. God is Good!

15 weeks 3 days

Baby # 3!

So a little back story on this new addition...
If you me then you know the story of my last pregnancy, the complications, pre term labor, pre term birth and the nicu stay of our amazing miracles. If we are close, than you knew all my fears regarding ever trying for another baby. Scared doesn't cover it. Afraid of going through what I went through last time, doesn't cover it.
After we had our twins, we knew we wanted to wait at least 3-4 years before even thinking about more. And the first few years were so extremely busy, exhausting, and chaotic that we would have been nuts to think we had the energy, time or budget for more. Especially knowing that twins again was always possible. For 3 1/2 years, we were content with our sweet family of 4, never got a second of baby fever or even wanted to think about another. I just wasn't ready or desiring one. When the twins were about 3 years 8 months, the thought slowly started creeping in my mind. So this was 16 months ago. I told Randy and we would talk about it casually.
In May of 2012 I was sure I was feeling ready. We decided to wait until August of 2012 and reassess our feelings about it, if we could make it work, etc. Well, we decided it wasn't the right time (the desire wasn't 100%) and that we would again reassess and see where we were the next Spring.

We had been praying about it throughout those 8 months and talked about it all the time, checking in to see where both of us were as far as moving forward. Spring came around and I felt like we needed a little more time to pray about it. For the last few months before we conceived we prayed, hard. God above anyone else knew my deepest fears about the whole thing. He is my maker and knows every thought in my head. I didn't even have to explain to Him what I was afraid of, He knew. But I would BEG God to just give us one baby. I mean I begged and pleaded and prayed soooo hard. Every day for months.
Randy and I would spend many nights talking at length about our biggest fears, about "what if's", about our ultimate goal (healthy and full term pregnancy and baby/babies) and we ultimately decided that we could plan and prepare all we wanted but in the end God was in control. He knew what we desired but if He wanted to give us twins again then that was clearly His plan and we would be ok with that.
It is so awesome not being in control and HAVING to be, to give it up to the Lord who loves us more than anything. His plans are way better than ours and He will provide.
So knowing we could not control how many babies we would have, we did decide it was now or never. We always wanted the twins to be between 5 and 6 when we had another and so waiting any longer really wasn't an option. Plus after talking about it until we were blue in the face, off an on for a year, we were ready to either commit and trust and go for it or decide we were done. I've always known I wanted "just one more." It was scary to take the leap of faith but it's also a great feeling to tell God, we surrender and we trust you, and we want you in control of our lives!

We even went as far as setting up a consultation with a perinatologist at our hospital (specializes in high risk) who had checked on me off and on throughout my 2 months there on bed rest. This was back in April. I decided to look him up and email him one day. He completely remembered us and our story and wanted us to come in. I brought my laundry list of questions and concerns and he answered everyone. We talked about my last situation, going into labor at just 23 weeks, my c-section, my hemorrhaging afterwards, all my risks from my previous pregnancy, my chances of twins again. We talked about what would happen if it was twins again, would I have to go on bed rest again, would my cervix give out again, all of those concerns. See that's the thing, we had way more to consider when thinking about trying again than the average woman/family. Due to all my prior risks, it would have been horrible to have to go through any of that with two kids at home as well. So we were trying to be very proactive and plan/prepare as much as we could beforehand. The Dr. actually told us my chances of twins again fell at just 1%. Yes, 1%. I was blown away and honestly a little disbelieving of that because of everything I had heard and read over the years. But overall, he had very encouraging things to say, we addressed all my concerns we came up with a game plan for the future pregnancy. We decided I would begin weekly progesterone shots from 16 weeks on, to keep my cervix strong. So those are coming up!

Only a couple of my close friends knew we were thinking about trying, I didn't tell any of my family for a few reasons (I wanted it to be the biggest surprise ever when we told them and also my twin sister's wedding was in August and I didn't want to detract from her time. A couple of my friends knew that whole year that we were thinking and praying about it. It was definitely nice to have someone to confide in and have pray for me that whole time.
So we decided in March that we would go for June. Turns out I was going to be out of town when I would be ovulating so we simply decided well, obviously that month was not God's timing for us. Well God is good and showed us our desire did align with His will because I ovulated the day after I got back. And sure enough, three weeks later I found out He blessed us. We were thrilled but in shock. I hadn't been pregnant in almost exactly 5 years. It was unreal. Even though it was planned and expected, it was still shocking. I guess because it happened right away. Well the next few weeks were weird, surreal and really hard to not tell anyone.
It was also agonizing to wait to find out if it was twins again or not. That part was killing me. I got scared when I tested found out a whole week before I was late, on a regular (not early response) test...I was afraid I had massive HGC levels which I was afraid meant twins! But I had faith that God would answer my prayer of just one.
Within the first week of knowing, I had a gut feeling it was just one. This was reassuring to Randy and I because within my first week of pregnancy with the twins, I knew it was twins. Funny how a woman's intuition is usually right on.
I had an ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks and that morning was a nail biter!!!! I was sooooo anxious and had knots in my stomach. We prayed that morning and I listed to worship songs the whole way there which gave me a lot of peace. The time came and there was just ONE BABY. We were relieved, happy, excited, and thanking God!

I am super excited so document this journey as I did with the peas. I love having this blog as my journal. I hope to be able to post regularly, I haven't done so very much lately.

We would covet your prayers for a healthy, full term baby and a complication free, full term pregnancy! Thank you!!
Love, The Crafts